As someone who had a “geriatric pregnancy” and supports pregnant folks who also have “geriatric pregnancies” and/or are knee deep in a career that they have spent all of their 20s to build, the transition into parenthood could be challenging.

You know who you were before getting pregnant, even while you’re pregnant. You are still showing up to work, or to see your friends and family, and are this version of you that you absolutely love.

And then you give birth.

As you maneuver through the complexity of the postpartum hormone dump, successfully tackling breastfeeding (just because it’s natural does not mean it’s easy!), you fall in love with this little human you created. You fall in love with your partner (if you have a partner), as you see them actively loving your baby. And you wonder, how will I go back to work, when all I want to do is just get lost in my baby’s eyes. Or you realize that all of the years you have dedicated yourself and endless hours to your profession, the payoff is far greater for you as a parent.

Now I’m clear, not everyone shares this perspective. When I was pregnant, I had plenty of colleagues and even friends who said, “by the end of your 3 months of leave, you are going to be dying to come back to work.” They were so happy to come back to work.

And if that’s how you felt/feel. AMAZING!

But that wasn’t me. I thought for sure I was going to want to go back to work right away. And yet, for the first time in my adult life, postpartum forced me to slow down. It forced me to develop a new relationship with my body that wasn’t colored by the obsession over being skinny. Instead, I rebuilt my relationship with myself and my body. I honored my body. I thanked my body for taking me through childbirth, and helping me see my own strength. I thanked my body for the milk I was producing for my baby. Honestly, 4 days postpartum, I really thought my breastfeeding journey was going to end immediately. Something that I beat myself up over because my sisters and mom all nursed their kids for so long. But after I got through the fog and changed that relationship with my brain and body, something else clicked.

So there is no shame if you’re feeling like this; like you don’t want to back to the rat race after you give birth. Enjoy your time getting to know this little human who is now earthside. Enjoy your time getting to know this new you. DON’T feel like you are betraying the “old” you. You’re still that person. While you get to learn your baby’s personality, you’re doing the same with yourself. Maybe your goals change or timelines you made for yourself are adjusted; no matter what the change is, embrace it. Enjoy your naps in the middle of the day and the slowness.

Your baby is new to this earth, and this new version of you is new too! I promise you, the slowdown doesn’t last forever, and you’ll miss it. You’ll miss the feeling you had right after giving birth ,feeling like you did something super-human, because childbirth is some other world stuff.

Honor yourself. You’re amazing.

lots of love,

Liz